It has been interesting around the city lately. Living in a town dominated by two universities and a major college has plagued every traffic oriface with u-hauls and budget trucks. It wasn't too long ago when I joined in on the craze. Even driving out of niagara I followed a long line of suvs'  with luggage on top heading into brock university. Part of me is jealous, missing the excitement of a new phase in life. Though much is occurring and I've been busier now then other times in my life...I'm wanting a new phase. What comes after university? A job, no doubt. Marriage? Families? Enlightement? Where the hell do I belong? I fail to accept any major responsibilities-especially of other lives. I can't do it. But I miss the feeling of going into something brand spankin' new.

I remember driving into the cul de sac at St. Jeromes. Completely fucking mortified. Then doused with super and irratating enthusiasm from frosh leaders. I didn't know a damn soul. When my mom was leaving the parking lot I felt like screaming..." Wait!!! Just joking, get me the hell out of here!"

Instead I found myself sitting in a circle with others like me, sheep herded and squised together for an "ice breaker" activity of making bracelets to identify us as "Frosh". The girl next to me could not stop looking at me, and then finally asked if I came from a gang.

Lol. I miss those times. When I looked bad ass. Now I kind of feel like a flabby ass.

Then came the point for those next few years when all I wanted was to get the hell out.

You know it's kind of like when you have curly hair, you want straight. When you have straight hair you want to have a buck wild afro. Or maybe that's just me.

Now I'm out, and want elsewhere. Clarity never lasts long. Like my apartment. It was so super clean here a few days ago. Truly representing my head. Then it slowly came in parts. The sink is filled with dishes but I haven't eaten a meal here for days. The bed stopped being made every day. The empty laundry bin now has a trail that leads from persia to rome. Has anyone seen the cat?